The Last Post About My Ear, I Swear (I think...)

I haven't died.

But since the ear is all I've been "doing" the past two weeks, it's all I've got to write about.

And I've got these really great pictures...

So...

I had my surgery. Last Wednesday (April 1).

Yes... had surgery on April Fools Day. No joking about that.

I had some pain earlier that week and went immediately to the doc to make sure I didn't have another infection. I've been pretty freaked about infections.

Did I tell you that I have a new doctor? Dr. Norris quit me! I really thought we were making some progress together...Now I am seeing his partner. Dr. Hixon does tympanoplasties.. Dr. N does not. Whatever. I am sure they had a fabulous time discussing my case... and my psychoticness...

So Dr. Hixon said that it was time for the operation. No more waiting.

I had a lateral graft tympanoplasty, and here are some really cool (and somewhat disgusting) pictures from the microscope during the surgery. Don't look if you don't like blood. (I think he took these so that he can write about me in a medical journal!... not really)

The first one (the dark one) is looking down into my ear with an otoscope. The glowing yellow thing is the malleus bone. Notice that you can see the area behind the bone because I HAVE NO EARDRUM.

The second one is after they peeled back the ear. Same picture, just closer.

The third one is after he removed the excess skin from around the malleus.

The last one is after he replaced the eardrum with a graft! And you can't see through it anymore!

I know that is way too much information, but I find it really fascinating. I showed this picture to every person who came to visit me.

The operation took about three hours, and I was asleep for four.

There is nothing like anesthesia sleep, my friends.

Lortab/Phernegen sleep is pretty close. I kept doped up for about five days. It was great. If I talked to you during that time, I apologize.

Here is my incision:

I was really excited when I discovered that they SHAVED MY HAIR.

Thanks for that. It makes wearing a ponytail so very attractive.

I got my stitches out two days ago, and am on the mend (nothing but Advil since Tuesday).

Most of the swelling in my face has subsided, but my ear still sticks out pretty far. Justin keeps calling me an elf. Dr. H swears that it will go back to normal soon.

Oh, and the left side of my tongue is still "numb" to taste. Any food that makes it to that side of my mouth tastes terrible. Very very weird.

I have packing on both sides of the new eardrum, so my hearing is much worse, but should all be peachy in six to eight weeks.

And then I shall write a lovely post about how wonderful it is to hear.

Until then, surely I can find something else to write about. Because I am sure you are sick of reading about it.

I am certainly tired of dealing with it.

Peace and love.

Trauma-Rama

Remember reading those little reader letters in YM and Seventeen magazine?? I've been thinking about that this morning since my baby brother called me at 3:50 a.m.

He has no concept of time.

What I am about to write is traumatic, yes. But not so much in the "started my cycle in gym class in front of my crush who probably doesn't know my name" kind of way...

So really the title is just something that came to me in the wee hours. Bear with me. It is early.

Okay...so I should have gone to medical school.

I have correctly diagnosed myself so many times that by now I would have been a gazillionaire for only treating myself.

I really am deaf in my left ear. I was not exaggerating or being a hypochondriac.

And here is how that happened:

I got a drainage tube inserted in January to alleviate some of the pressure problems and residual fluid left over after my sinus surgery last July. My "narrow passages" weren't allowing my Eustachian tube to drain properly...

Standard procedure. The did it in the office. It burned like the fire of a thousand suns. I almost passed out, and the nurse had to get me a wet rag and make sure I didn't vomit on her. Not embarrassing at all.

Well, you know how they (whoever "they" are) say that a negligible percentage of people will have an adverse reaction to some portion of every procedure?

Well in this case that percentage is .0026.

And I am that person.

Mama always said I was special...

Apparently I have zero tolerance for Phenol, the drug used to anesthetize the eardrum. It is used to both numb and cauterize the area of the eardrum that is about to be operated on--so you don't feel it and it doesn't bleed.

Pretty much what happened is that the Phenol killed my eardrum. Seriously. The blood supply never came back, and it essentially died.

To make matters worse I developed a fungal infection--very common around here, but it further damaged the eardrum.

Goodbye eardrum. It was so nice to have you around for 28 years.

Here is a before and after for your viewing pleasure:
I really should be a graphic designer with those mad photoshop skills.

Basically, my ossicles (hearing bones) are flapping in the breeze.

My doctor actually said that.

I am going to have my eardrum replaced soon (probably May). I had no idea that could be done, but you know... the miracle of modern medicine. It's called a tympanoplasty. And they will have to CUT MY EAR OFF and glue it back on. HMMM...

So, the bad news is that I can't hear jack. And I have a huge hole in my head.

The good news is that my hearing should return to normal after the surgery... So far I have no permanent nerve damage. And I am not in any pain. I am, however, exhausted by the end of the day from just hearing noise.

And exhausted from finally being off Prednisone after 10 very long days.

Has anyone ever taken that? Seriously I thought my mind would explode. I was all over the place--getting up at 4:30 a.m. TO DO STUFF. That is so not me. I think I even freaked Justin out with my get-it-done-ness. I know it worried him when I couldn't stop to take a nap. That is certainly a clue that something is not quite right.

Anyway, if anyone wants to write an article about me in a medical journal, Holla.

Happy Anniversary to Me & My Man!

Today is my & Ju-C's FOURTH wedding anniversary! I really can't believe it has been that long--probably a good thing, huh?

I have ZERO wedding pictures on this here laptop, so I took this one off of Facebook... I can always count on Jill to have a picture of everything...

March 5, 2005 at Mathews Manor

Justin looks like he is about to pass out. Too bad I am not that skinny anymore... those were the good old days...

I know I am still skinny... just not THAT skinny. No comments about that, please.

I digress...

Justin and I give traditional gifts for anniversaries. That means I have to wait until we are married like a million years before I get any jewelry out of this deal. Year four is flowers/plants (and I told him that diamonds in the shape of flowers were perfectly acceptable).

He did not agree... I have a beautiful arrangement of pink and white lilies and tulips sitting on my kitchen island. {And a "Team Edward" t-shirt that should arrive tomorrow. My man has a sense of humor...at least I know he won't be embarrassed when I actually wear it.}

I bought him a tree.

I had never purchased a tree before, but found it quite fun and very easy. I got it from this online orchard...Willis Orchards. There are pictures of all the stuff they have so you just click and pick. His is a Meyer Lime and should fruit this year!

We have never had any citrus trees, but I have wanted one since we moved here.

Maybe I bought the tree for me??

No, no. Ju-C is certainly a yard man. We're (He's) going to put it in a large planter so we (he) can move it around when the frost comes (you know those two nights...).

We had a nice, quiet dinner at Mateer's. It was so nice to get some "face time" with no distractions. No phone calls... I forget what that is like since we don't eat out too often. You know, to a real restaurant...Chick-fil-A doesn't count.

Justin's business has been really busy (thank the Lord!). He's one of those overachiever types (what does he see in me???) and it was just good for us to get away from the house and work and church if only for a couple hours. His mind needed a break.

I'm thinking we need a vacation.

I keep waiting for my check from Publisher's Clearing House to come every day so we can go to Italy.

What if you really did see me on one of those commercials one day??!! That would be awesome!

I'm going to go to bed and pray for that.

Behind...very aware...

What I've been up to: (in pictures, because the words just aren't coming today)

I made cookies for my little friend Julian's 2nd birthday party. He had a railroad theme.

and then I made Valentine cookies for my Monday night Bible study girls...
And then on Valentine's Day, we went to the KOER Mardi Gras Ball. So fun!! This little lady was having a large time...
Me and Ju-C at the ball... These are our friends Jay & Laurie (Julian's mom and dad). They invited us to the ball.

And then I got the stupid tube taken OUT of my ear. I brought it home in a nice little baggy. I am even more sure than ever that Dr. Norris thinks I am a total psycho.It's amazing that something this tiny can cause so much trouble. I still can't hear and am waiting (oh so patiently...) for the large hole in my eardrum to heal up so maybe I can hear again. The End. I hope to have something funny to impart at a later date...

100!

Hey, it's my 100th post!

Never thought I would make it to tell the truth. I have been very slow.

But here are 100 things about me that you never knew and have been lying awake at night wondering.

1. My middle name is Claire.

2. When we moved here I wanted to change my name to Claire Chappell so it would be three syllables. I really like three-syllable names. They sound so good when you answer the phone... Claire Chappell.... But I didn't. But I still wish I did.

3. I just bought a pair of skinny jeans after swearing I would never do it. And I love them. I would wear them everyday if I had enough long shirts.

4. My pups have a ridiculous amount of nicknames. Especially Oliver; aka Ollie, Ollie Ollie Oxenfreed, Ollie Pop, Big Stinky, Little Ollie Boy, Buddy Ollie, Pup 1...it's psychotic. I really love my pups.

5. I like office supplies. Especially pens and post-its and paper clips. Try the new Sharpie pens. They are awesome.

6. I have lots of different hobbies, but none that I devote a ton of time to. I wish I had a real hobby.

7. I am re-reading the Twilight series.

8. I like to re-read all my favorite books. I read them so fast that I often forget what happened the first time.

9. Maybe reading is my hobby?

10. I just had a tube inserted into my left ear last week. I was awake and it was awful. There is a reason why they put little kids to sleep before doing that.

11. I have never broken a bone.

12. I have only had 3 boyfriends in my life. Adam 8th & 9th grade, Brent 10th grade-some of college and Justin!

13. I sure have kissed lots of boys, though...

14. I would go back to college in a heartbeat. I loved every second of it.

15. I have already paid $300 of my $500 BCBS insurance deductible...and it's not even February.

16. I'm pretty sure I am deaf in my left ear. I'm starting to pick out hearing aids.

17. My favorite New Kid on the Block was Joe. I had a Joe pillowcase. And a NKOTB sleeping bag. I also wrote them a letter and they wrote me back, but I was mad because it was a stupid form letter.

18. I have terrible taste in music. I have not purchased a CD in years.

19. Unless you count the "Twilight" soundtrack, and technically Justin bought that one.

20. I might be obsessed with "Twilight."

21. I carry a cup of water around with me wherever I go. My new cup is a Tervis Tumbler with an "E" on it. I love it!

22. I have always (obviously) had a thing for teased hair. Not sure where it came from.

23. I chew my nails off instead of cutting them when they get too long.

24. I haven't had a pedicure since July. That is disgusting. (And my mom paid for that one!!)

25. My mom is really my best friend. She always had been. I tell her everything. Seriously.

26. I didn't do the typical teen rebellion thing.

27. I was very afraid to disappoint my parents.

28. But when I came home from Spring Break (in Key West) my mom cried because I was so swollen from drinking too much. (And I was just fat)

29. Having a candy machine in my dorm was not good for me.

30. Isabelle and Oliver were sleeping in the bed with us until Oliver decided to throw up two mornings in a row at 2:30. Now they are back in their crate and Isabelle is mad about it.

31. I feel like I should be ready to have a baby by now, but I am not.

32. I like other people's kids... and giving them back when they cry or need a diaper change.

33. Every Wednesday I babysit for Ethan at 4:30 A.M. so his mom can exercise. I think she is psycho. I sleep on the couch.

34. I had to drop out of typing in high school because I was so bad. WHO NEEDS TYPING??

35. Justin makes my lunch for me everyday.

36. I am a very ritualistic person.

37. I just ate half of a very large Hershey bar even though I am not supposed to.

38. I am allergic to wheat, eggs and milk. But I won't die if I eat them.

39. I have "narrow passages." Apparently most things in my tall body didn't develop as "widely" as they were supposed to. It is very annoying.

40. I like Riesling. And that is about it as far as wine goes.

41. Whenever I make something for someone else I always sign it "Dorothy Wade." That is my grandmother and I think her name is so cool. She died when I was in college.

42. My brother and I are friends.

43. He needs a good wife.

44. I LOVE getting margaritas with Lucy. It is my favorite thing.

45. Sometimes me and J go to the movies on Saturday and sneak in to watch a second one without paying. Terrible!! (but not so terrible...)

46. I sleep in knee socks! I just got some new ones from Target that are very cute.

47. I might have a wee problem with sleeping. I need at least 10 hours to function.

48. I wish I liked to exercise. A little bit would be okay with me.

49. I do love to cook and bake. Mostly hard stuff that cost an arm and a leg and takes hours in the kitchen. I like a challenge.

50. This is harder than I thought...halfway there.

51. I met Justin in a bar/pub. We've been there twice.

52. He took me there on the night we got engaged and all our friends were there. I cried!

53. I hardly ever cry.

54. When we moved to Fairhope I was very depressed. For months. And I cried then, too.

55. I think that has helped me to understand that depression is a real thing, and I am a better person because I have had to deal with it. I am certainly more empathetic to others.

56. I am obsessive-compulsive about plucking my eyebrows. Sometimes I get carried away and have to pencil them in until they grow back.

57. I also really really like spelling and punctuation.

58. I am most comfortable in jeans, t-shirt and flip flops. This might be lazy.

59. I used to not brush my teeth at night before bed. Then I got married and Justin said that it was gross to go to sleep with dirty teeth.

60. If I was stranded on a desert island and could only eat two foods I would pick Chick-fil-A waffle fries and chocolate milkshakes. And I would be fat and have a chronic sinus infection.

61. I bought Justin a romantic present for Valentine's Day. I will post a picture of it when it comes in.

62. I like to throw stuff away.

63. I can't believe that I will be married for FOUR YEARS in March!

64. Justin and I give traditional gifts for anniversaries. It has been very interesting to see our different takes on the theme...

65. I LOVE istockphoto.

66. I also love my birthday. It is my most favorite day of the year. I love to get presents and to be paid attention to. Imagine that.

67. I am a fairly good at keeping in touch through email. Not so much a good phone caller.

68. Sometimes I like to read blogs of people whom I don't know at all. Or I might have seen once at college...

69. I like Nerds. The candy.

70. I like Smarties. The candy. I ate so many of them at Halloween that I made my teeth hurt.

71. I like making fun of Justin being fat. I know that it is mean, but it really is SO FUNNY.

72. Maybe that is why he gets up at 4:30 to run most mornings...

73. This is taking forever.

74. I make out my dinner menus two weeks at a time and post it on the fridge. It's kind of obsessive. It's typed out.

75. With equal parts of my soul, I both loathe and love Dave Ramsey.

76. I save every Christmas card and put it in my (very appropriately named) "Christmas Card" Scrapbook (picture cards only). It is red and lives in my coffee table to be perused at will.

77. I say I like to play games, but really I only like to play games sometimes. (Sorry, Sally!)

78. I like to talk about how I have two jobs, but really I only work 28 hours a week (max) so that doesn't so much equal one full-time job. But it counts.

79. I have drank 4 Tervis Tumblers full of water today (96 oz) so far.

80. I like fonts. Check out 1001freefonts.com.

81. I am getting better at saying "NO."

82. I got some new makeup at Sephora that is so awesome. It's liquid luminizer from Stila. LOVE it. I don't look quite so dead.

83. If I could live in any time period I would pick the 20's, I think. But I would like to make sure I was okay when the market crashes.

84. I judged the 3rd & 4th grade spelling bee yesterday, and it was so fun!!

85. I love when people come and visit me while I am working at church. My favorite visitors are Merri-Broxton McLendon and Robert Baker.

86. I am going to name my twin girls Anne Wade and Caroline. And if I don't have twin girls I might cry.

87. I know that is insane, but I really want twin girls. REALLY. If I could do something to ensure that, I would do it (but not if I could accidentally have eight babies, because then what would I do???)

88. I email with Caroline, Lindsey and Taylor at least 5 times a week.

89. I still talk to Dusty, my best friend since high school, at least once a week. And that is probably because she is faithful to call me!! and I am faithful to return her calls!!

90. My ENT, Dr. Norris, doesn't laugh at my jokes, and that makes me sad. He just looks at me like I am crazy. And I am pretty sure I am not crazy.

91. I am a fairly shy person. I don't like to talk to people I don't know. I am much better in small groups.

92. My favorite color is green.

93. I can't stand when people use improper grammar in conversation. I am so tempted to correct them, and usually do if it is someone I know well.

94. I've been wearing glasses since 2nd grade. I got contacts in 8th grade, praise the Lord!

95. I had a frankel (large mouth appliance)for two years and wore braces for nine months. Another "narrow passage" correction.

96. I really really like to be organized. This includes various forms of list-making, piles and folders.

97. I LOVE high heels. And wedges. I don't really even care if they are uncomfortable. Or if they make me taller than anyone in the room.

98. My favorite cosmetic item is lip gloss. I can't ever be without it, not for even five minutes.

99. Some days (most days) all I wear is lip gloss, and I don't truly care how terrible I look.

100. If I could go back to college I think I would have gotten a degree in interior design.

The end. That's all. I am very boring.

Happy Wednesday!

From Kay Bostic

I got some hate mail from my mother this morning...

She writes:

I read your blog and it was soooo mmmeeeaaaaannn. You are making fun of Ju c. He is so cute and looks so sweet. Look at these pics and wonder WHAT YOUR CHILDREN WILL LOOK LIKE.

love yo mama

I figure I'd better even the playing field with these pictures...
I don't think there is a single 80's cliche that I have overlooked.

I was so proud of those shirts.

And my handy color-change watch.

Ju-C, you have been vindicated.

Late Bloomer

Just in case you think I left my wit in 2008...

Let's make fun of someone.

Let's make fun of....Justin!

Please make sure you are in a location appropriate to laughing hysterically/peeing in your pants.

Here is his school picture from 5th grade/10 years old. Now, THERE is a face only a mother could love.

And possibly Aunt Jemima and the owner of the local Golden Corral.

Sweet Ju-C... he was rather juicy, huh?

(and totally okay with having this picture plastered on my blog...good sport!)

Happy New Year!